Disciplining your child

Sandy Hooda, Co-Founder of Vega Schools

 
Extrinsic vs Intrinsic discipline

Extrinsic discipline is when students are forced to adhere to rules and regulations that are externally imposed upon them. This could be in the form of strict consequences or punishments if they don't comply. Intrinsic discipline, on the other hand, is when students willingly choose to follow certain guidelines or principles because they want to, not because they have to.

Why is intrinsic more effective than extrinsic?

It's easy to see why intrinsic discipline is more effective in the long run. When students are intrinsically motivated to be disciplined, it means that they have internalised the importance of discipline and are more likely to adhere to it even when there are no external rewards or punishments. Intrinsic motivation also leads to a deeper understanding of the concepts and principles involved when it comes to learning.

Tips to encourage students to be more intrinsically disciplined

1. Help them understand why discipline is important
Discipline is often seen as a negative thing because it's often associated with restrictions and punishments. But it's important for students to understand that discipline is actually a positive thing that can help them in their academic and personal lives.

One way to do this is to share stories or examples of people who have achieved great things through self discipline despite difficult circumstances. This could be a historical figure like Mahatma Gandhi or Nelson Mandela, or a contemporary figure like Barack Obama or Malala Yousafzai. We can also give examples of leading sportspersons, professionals or entrepreneurs.

2. Encourage them to set their own goals
When students are given the opportunity to set their own goals, they're more likely to be intrinsically motivated to achieve them. This could be in the form of a personal or academic goal. For example, a student might set a goal to get straight A's in their upcoming exams, or to run a marathon.

3. Help them develop a growth mindset
A growth mindset is the belief that intelligence and ability can be developed through effort and perseverance. This is in contrast to a fixed mindset, which is the belief that intelligence and ability are static and cannot be changed. One way is to praise their effort and perseverance, rather than their intelligence or ability. For example, instead of saying "you're so smart," you could say "you worked really hard on that."

 4. Encourage them to take risks
Taking risks is an important part of learning and growth. When students are afraid to fail, they're less likely to try new things or take challenging courses. But if we encourage them to take risks, they'll be more likely to step out of their comfort zones and learn new things.

One way to do this is to create a safe and supportive environment where students feel like they can take risks without judgement or negative consequences. Another way is to model risk-taking behaviour yourself. For example, if you're a teacher, you could share times when you took risks in your career and what the outcome was.
5. Help them develop a sense of autonomy
When students feel like they have control over their own learning, they're more likely to be intrinsically motivated. This could mean giving them choices in what they learn, or how they learn it.

Origins of extrinsic discipline

Extrinsic discipline is based on a command and control model. In this model, authority figures give orders and those lower down in the hierarchy are expected to obey. This type of discipline has its origins in the military, where uniforms, hierarchies and respect for authority are essential. Unfortunately, these principles have also infiltrated schools and other organisations. Many companies are now trying to dismantle these structures, as they stifle innovation.

Extrinsic discipline can be beneficial in some situations. For example, it may be necessary to maintain order in a large organisation, especially the military or a bureaucracy. However, this type of discipline can also be restrictive and punitive. It often leads to compliance rather than engagement or motivation. Extrinsic discipline is often based on rewards and punishments. This can create a climate of fear, which can lead to anxiety and stress.

Discipline vs punishment

It is important to remember that discipline is not the same as punishment. Discipline is about teaching and training people to follow rules and regulations. Punishment is about retribution and revenge. Therefore, it is important to choose the right type of discipline for the situation. Sometimes a mix of different types of discipline may be necessary.

Sources of intrinsic discipline

Intrinsic discipline is based on self-control and internal motivation. In this model, people are driven by their own values and principles. They are more likely to obey rules and regulations if they believe in them. Intrinsic discipline often leads to more engagement and motivation as people feel empowered to make their own decisions.

Benefits of intrinsic discipline

Intrinsic discipline has many benefits. It can lead to more engagement and motivation as people feel empowered to make their own decisions. It can also create a more positive work environment as people feel trusted and respected. Intrinsic discipline often leads to better decision making as people are more likely to consider the consequences of their actions.

Discipline, fear and creativity

When students are afraid of making mistakes, they become less likely to experiment and try new things. This can stifle creativity and innovation. Instead of focusing on punishment, educators should encourage students to take risks and embrace failure as a learning opportunity. By doing so, students will be more likely to come up with new ideas and solutions to problems.

Intrinsic discipline and empowerment

Intrinsic discipline is based on empowerment. This form of discipline begins with teachers building close bonds with their students so that they are internally motivated to listen and perform. Teachers provide guidance and tools, and then empower the students to do their work with freedom. Teachers monitor and gently critique students’ work to make them achieve mastery. Intrinsic discipline results in students who are intrinsically motivated to learn and achieve.

The power of positive reinforcement

When students demonstrate a good attitude and produce good work, teachers provide encouragement (positive reinforcement) to them. This triggers motivation in the students who slowly develop a desire to produce more good work. This positive cycle creates intrinsic discipline. When students err, the teachers gently help them to correct their course.

Intrinsic discipline and motivation

This type of discipline is important because it helps students learn how to motivate themselves. Intrinsic discipline is something that students can take with them throughout their lives. It’s a valuable skill that will help them in academics, careers, and personal relationships. The most successful leaders understand the importance of motivation and how to create it. They know that intrinsic discipline is the key to lasting success. And they use empowerment and positive reinforcement to make their followers truly motivated and disciplined.

There are many schools in Gurgaon, but the best schools in Gurgaon always focus on building positive relationships with their students. By doing so, they create a learning environment that is tailored to each student's individual interests and strengths. This allows for more effective learning, and also leads to happier students who are self-motivated. With the National Education Policy NEP 2020, the focus of CBSE schools in Gurgaon is shifting to intrinsic discipline. A top CBSE school in Gurgaon now needs to create internal motivation and discipline in its students.

A happy culture always creates less pressure and more learning. So if you're looking for a top school in Gurgaon, make sure to find ones that focus on building positive relationships with their students.
spinner